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HP/AGILENT ALUMNI CLUB NEWSLETTER HP/AGILENT ALUMNI CLUB MINUTES – 7/7/2009 The July 7, 2009 meeting of the HP/Agilent Alumni Club began with an introduction of the guest speaker by Vice President Mark Smith. Many club members know John’s wife, Janet, a longtime HP/Agilent employee. July Program – Colorado Attorney General John Suthers John Suthers greeted the audience and sent regrets from Janet, who couldn’t attend due to other scheduled activities. Janet had asked John to say hello to everyone for her. John then talked about his career, his current position as Colorado Attorney General and his new book, No Higher Calling, No Greater Responsibility: A Prosecutor Makes His Case. Here is a summary of John’s presentation. “When I graduated law school,” said John, “I knew that I wanted to spend a portion of my career in public service, but I didn’t know in what capacity. Now I feel like I’ve won the legal trifecta, having served as federal prosecutor, being elected district attorney twice in Colorado Springs, and now serving as your 37th Attorney General of Colorado. “You are very kind to give me an opportunity to talk about my book, but first I’ll spend a little time talking about what the Attorney General’s Office does. Many people don’t realize what we do, so I’ll give you a short overview. We have 400 employees. Two hundred and forty-four of them are lawyers. That’s the scariest thing I’m going to tell you. We have a $50m budget and handle around 5,000 cases each year, about 1,000 of which are water cases. “We operate six major sections: 1) State Services Section; 2) Business and Licensing Section; 3) Civil Litigation and Employment Law Section; 4) National Resources and Environment Section; 5) Consumer Protection Section; and 6) Criminal Justice Section. “In our State Services Section, we represent and advise the governor and other elected state officials, such as the secretary of state, treasurer and our cabinet agencies, as well as the Departments of Education, Higher Education, Human Services, Health Care Policy and Financing, Labor and Employment Personnel and Administration, the Board of Assessment Appeals and the Public Utilities Commission. “To give you a couple of examples of advice we’ve provided recently, we were asked by the Commission on Higher Education, ‘Can we give people, who are in the country illegally, instate tuition?’ I told them, ‘No.’ Obama’s Dream Act would remove those barriers. The University of Colorado asked us, ‘If children are born in Colorado, are citizens of the U.S. and current residents in Colorado, can we give them instate tuition even if their parents are in the country illegally?’ Our answer to that question is, ‘Yes,’ because their domicile is Colorado. “We handle Colorado constitutional issues. Our Colorado constitution is much thicker than the U.S. constitution because voters can amend it, and do so frequently. This often presents problems. Under Amendment 41, government employees can’t receive gifts of more than $50. In many cases, this is a good thing, but there are some situations that need to be addressed. For example, this amendment prevents a widow of a firefighter killed in the line of duty from being eligible for any of the funds usually available under these circumstances. We have been working through the issues surrounding this amendment. “Our Business and Licensing Section regulates professions, including plumbers, electricians, cosmetologists, barbers, and my favorite, outfitters. There are 78 such boards and commissions and my office regulates all of them. Here is an example of how our office works to protect Colorado citizens. A neurosurgeon caused the death of three people. The State spend $100,000 and the accused doctor spent $300,000 during the legal battle. After a three-week trial, his license was revoked. “Our Civil Litigation and Employment Law Section defends the State of Colorado and its taxpayers against claims in personal injury, property damage and civil rights cases filed against State agencies of State employees. Under the Governmental Immunities Act, residents cannot sue the government. However, the State allows you to bring a suit against the State under certain circumstances. For example, if a State employee were to hit your vehicle with a State vehicle, you can bring a suit against the State. Since the State has made an exception to the Governmental Immunities Act, it can also cap the liability amounts, so the limit is $100,000 per person and $600,000 per incident. “Natural Resources and Environment Section is a priority for us. Any attorney general who tells you it is not his or her number one priority to protect every drop of water belonging to Colorado just doesn’t have his or her priorities straight. We have the Colorado River Compact between the Upper Basin States: Colorado, Utah and Wyoming, and the Lower Basin States: California, Nevada, and Arizona. “This essentially regulates who gets the water from the Colorado River. Measurements are made at Lake Powell. The compact was made in a particularly wet year and the amounts granted to the Lower Basin States might seem excessive until you realize that there are 40.6 million people living off the Colorado River in the Lower Basin States and only 6.5 million people living off the Colorado River in the Upper Basin States. “You may recall during the 2008 presidential campaign when John McCain was in the state and was asked what should be done about the Colorado River Compact. He might have temporarily forgotten what state he was in when he replied, ‘It needs to be renegotiated.’ The newspaper headlines the next morning reported that ‘McCain Says Renegotiate Colorado River Contract’ and the subtitle was: ‘Over Ritter, Salazar, and Suther’s Dead Bodies.’ We are very serious about our water rights! We have settled two of the largest environmental litigations regarding the Rocky Mountain Arsenal. “I and seven other state attorney generals recently won a suit against the four existing beef producers who wanted to merge into only three. We felt that would harm consumers. This is just one example of the actions taken by our Consumer Protection Section. “Anyone who is convicted in Colorado has appeals come to my office. This is part of our Criminal Justice Section and local enforcement agencies can ask us to get involved in statewide crimes such as theft rings, drug rings, and mortgage fraud. “These are just some of the examples of what our office personnel do on a daily basis. “When I became attorney general five years ago, we didn’t have any Internet laws in effect at all. In 2006 we passed a law to prosecute Internet luring and exploitation. Now if someone contacts a person under 16, or a person they think is under 16, and issues an invitation to meet, it is a crime. Since 2006, we have convicted 375 people for this crime. Unfortunately it’s a fact that, if we had twice the number of officers to handle the cases, we’d have twice the number of convicted individuals. The officers are solicited every time they go online. “Mortgage fraud has been in the news. We have seen 12% of subprime mortgages go into foreclosure while only about 2% of conventional loans meet the same fate. There is fraud in advertizing and documentation. One scheme involved 11 people who bought 100 distressed properties. They wanted loans to include the money to fix up the properties. No work was done and the construction companies were shell companies owned by these 11 people. They walked off with $3m or so each. We got a conviction on this case just last week. “You have an Identity Theft Repair Kit booklet that I brought. It can be helpful if you encounter any problems with your credit cards or bank accounts being accessed by unauthorized people. We recommend that you scrutinize your records each month and get copies of your credit reports to catch any identity theft as soon as possible. “Many of you know my wife, Janet. I’ve been fortunate to be married to her for 33 years. And I’ve enjoyed a fascinating legal career these past 32 years. When I first entered law school in 1977, I did not have a specific goal, but I found my career passion while interning for two years in the district attorney’s office in Colorado Springs.” [Excerpted from John’s book: “I spent a great deal of time doing legal research related to a number of notorious murder cases. The first case I worked on was a special prosecution of a murder case in Aspen, Colorado. A transient was accused of kidnapping, sexually assaulting, and murdering a nurse. There was a strong suspicion that the defendant was a serial killer, and the death penalty was being sought. I did a significant amount of legal research on the case until, just days before the trial was to begin, the defendant escaped from jail. He wound up in Florida, where he was eventually tried, convicted, and executed for killing three college coeds. His name was Ted Bundy.” [“Another case I worked on involved a group of young Army soldiers at Fort Carson who had recently returned from Vietnam. The soldiers had formed a robbery gang of sorts and, incredibly enough, met on designated nights of the week to perpetrate their crimes. Unfortunately, they also made a pact among themselves to kill any victim whom they believed might be able to identify them. Over the course of two months in the summer of 1975, they murdered at least five people. A cook at a local hotel was abducted in the parking lot on his way to his car, taken to a nearby stream, and shot point-blank in the head. The robbery netted $1.50. Another soldier was stabbed to death for a marijuana cigarette. At a party after that killing, the perpetrator, a nineteen-year-old GI named Michael Corbett, displayed the bloody knife, reenacted the killing for those in attendance, and exclaimed how exhilarating it had been to turn the knife in the victim’s chest and listen to his bones crack.”] “As I reflect back on my career as a prosecutor, it’s interesting to see what has changed. In 1977, there was no computer crime. Now that’s a lot of what we do. One of the things I’m most proud of is helping to make the Internet safer. Also the technology for solving crimes has changed. In 1991, a Colorado court first recognized DNA in a court case—less than 20 years ago. “Motivations don’t change. All the misbehavior can be attributed to a few basic vices that have always plagued the human race. Just about every serious criminal case I’ve been involved with entailed one or more of the seven deadly sins: Greed, Pride, Lust, Anger, Envy, Gluttony and Sloth. “There are a couple of things I’m concerned about: 1) the Federalization of Crime and, 2) the Overcriminalization of U.S. Society. “In the early years of our nation’s history, there were a limited number of federal crimes: piracy, counterfeiting, treason, felonies on the high seas, thefts from the Bank of the United States, and arson of federal property. Now Congress has added about 1,200 new federal crimes. Justice Scalia once told me on a fishing trip that the 17th Amendment is to blame as it introduced the popular election of U.S. senators who previously were appointed by state legislators. “On the subject of overcriminalization, it is now possible to commit a crime without knowing it. An example would be health care privacy or a group of people in Utah recently accused of gathering pottery illegally. I believe criminal law should be reserved for morally culpable behavior. “Forty-four years ago there were 600,000 Americans in mental health institutions. Today there are 60,000. That’s one-tenth of the people despite the fact that the population has doubled. On the average, about 25% of our prison population is mentally ill. They have committed crimes to be sure. In many cases, their crimes are more severe and brutal than criminals who are not mentally ill. Nevertheless, our prisons have become the modern day mental institution. “This book was a fun project. I simply can’t imagine a more interesting career. I am grateful to you and all the citizens of Colorado for giving me the opportunity to serve as your attorney general. Thank you.” John Suthers was given enormous applause for his presentation. He answered a few questions and then volunteered to remain after the meeting to answer more questions and autograph his book for anyone interested. George Blinn won a free copy of No Higher Calling, No Greater Responsibility: A Prosecutor Makes His Case donated by John. Additional books were available to any members wishing to purchase one. Joetta called the business meeting to order following the program. The minutes for the last meeting, as published in the newsletter, were approved as written and filed. Joetta donned a hat to read the treasurer’s report as Laura was busy at the bake sale table. The report was filed. There were 49 attendees. They are: Jan Allen, Les Bailey, Pat Bestgen, Marlys and George Blinn, Delphine Bieszard, John Clayton, Kathy Colyer, Jim Drehle, Arnie Ellsworth, Myrna and John Favinger, Harry Feldman, Gloria Fuentez, Ken Fulton, Velma Gallegos, Pat Gatiss, Molly Gauss, Lois Green, Don Griffith, Juanita Hartman, Lela Havens, Joetta Hoewisch, Carol Kibel, Pat Korenke, Ken Kremer, Peggy and Mark Lambuth, Shel Lum, Laura Mattison, Peggy McClellan, Wanda and Gerry McGonigle, John Meredith, Lorraine Morgan, Ken Nichols, Wanda Ray, Gary Roberson, Betty Rodosevich, Chuck Smart, Mark Smith, Greg Tarcza, Polly Tounzen, Joe Trujillo, John Tulloch, Evelyn Wall, Randy Walters, Helen Wilcots, and Hal Wright. Visitors: Gloria Fuentez, worked 33 years for HP/Agilent, and 5 more as a contract employee. Shel Lum, visiting from California, worked for HP 35 years. Wanda Ray, a recent retiree from HP/Agilent after 39 years of service.
July Birthdays: July
Anniversaries: IN MEMORIAM Max Klasna passed away in June at his home after a long and courageous battle with cancer. Max was a native of Colorado born on November 23, 1935. Many members remember Max and his many years of service to HP. We extend our sympathies to his wife, Donna, and to their children and families. Steve Kochis, age 87, passed away on June 27, 2009. Steve was a Colorado native, born on August 17, 1921 in Matheson, Colorado. Club members know of Steve’s dedicated service to the club, as an officer and a co-leader, with his wife, Anna, of annual picnics for many years. We send our sincere sympathies to our club members Anna and daughter Barbara Alger-Kochis and to the entire Kochis family. ANNOUNCEMENTS Gerry McGonigle came in front of the group and gave a personal tribute to Steve Kochis, reminding members that Steve and Anna were co-vice presidents in 1991 and co-presidents in 1992. Gerry said, “Their names show all over the place whenever help was needed. Not only did Anna lose an important part of her life, but we also lost a good friend and a wonderful member of our club. Steve was a good humored man, always with a story or a joke. He is someone we will miss very much.” Mark Smith announced that Roger Scott is still recovering from a serious motorcycle accident a couple of months ago. He is in the VA hospital in Denver and hopes to be released in three weeks or so. Mark passed around a get well card for people to sign. Mark will deliver it when he visits Roger next week. Joetta Hoewisch directed attention to some posters announcing the HP Friends and Family Online Store that offers discounts to employees, retirees and their friends and neighbors. Joetta also reported that the first meeting of the Red Hat Club went well and the name they are considering, given the electronics nature of our employer, is: Red Resistor Sisters. It’s a tongue twister admits Joetta who also announced the next lunch meeting is Wednesday, July 15th at 11:30 am at the Red Lobster, 4525 North Academy Boulevard. Interested members can contact June Fritz (593-1810) for more information. You are also welcome to just come and join the fun group.
HP/Agilent Alumni Picnic – August 4,
2009 Club members were asked to vote on having fried chicken or pulled pork sandwiches. The vote was in favor of the pulled pork sandwiches. An alternative meat will also be served for anyone who does not eat pork. Treasurer Laura Mattison has volunteered to make the pulled pork. Attendees are asked to bring a potluck dish. We are winging it this year without a sign-up sheet. You are free to bring any dish you please, which can be appetizers, salads, veggies, desserts or a special creation of your choice. If you have any questions or comments about the picnic, feel free to call Joetta Hoewisch (599-5292), Lois Green (481-3921), or Laura Mattison (598-7728). Bringing food is not a requirement as there will be plenty of food for everyone! We also welcome any volunteers to come at 10:30 a.m. to help with set-up. And hope to have a few members stay to help clean-up from 2 p.m. until 2:30 p.m. The toss game of Holey Boards will be available. We hope to see you there. Regular Monthly Meeting Events
Door Prizes: Winning five Lotto tickets each were Wanda Ray and Peggy McClellan.
Thank You! Our annual picnic is August 4, 2009. The greeter for our September 1st meeting will be Marianne Mallon, who is also providing pizza for everyone, so don’t eat lunch before you come! We’ll have a pizza party while we enjoy the rehearsal for the September 15th Appreciation program being planned to thank the Senior Center for the use of the meeting room. The meeting was adjourned at 2:50 pm. We hope to see you at the picnic! NOTES FROM OUR TREASURER Congratulations HP/Agilent members. Lois Green had signed up, as a club, for the Great American Bake Sale. She had hoped for $150.00 from the goodies donations we had at the meeting. I am so pleased to report we had $188.24 in our Bake Sale donation jar, going toward the effort to feed USA hungry children. WAY TO GO!! We also had $32.00 put into our Newsletter Postage donation jar. I will give a report on this in September at our regular meeting. Thank you, for helping the club offset this unexpected expense. We continue to grow! There were a lot of people at our meeting to hear John Suthers talk. We also got several new members, and renewals. WELCOME TO OUR NEWEST MEMBERS We were happy to see Gloria Fuentez and welcome her as a new member. She spent 33 years as an HP/Agilent employee. Gloria was in Manufacturing 6 years, a Tech Center Supervisor for 15 years, in Human Resources for 8 years and finally IT for 4 years. Now she is ready to relax and enjoy life. Wonderful to see the smiling face of Wanda Ray. She also signed up for membership. She spent 39½ years with HP/Agilent. When asked where she worked and what she did, "Everywhere and everything!", was her reply; the range included R&D, Manufacturing, Personnel, Human Resources to name just a few. She didn't say what she had been doing for interests or hobbies. David Novotny sent in his application. He has a wife, Susan, and since retirement enjoys flying, Civil Air Patrol and Amateur Radio. We are happy to welcome you, David, and hope to see you at a meeting soon, or maybe at the picnic next month. Arnie Ellsworth attended the July meeting and turned in his membership application. His wife's name is Judy. He spent 34 years as an HP/Agilent employee in a variety of roles in Marketing. Hope he and Judy will have time to attend meetings and participate in the other fun things we do each year. Welcome Gloria, Wanda, David and Arnie. We are delighted to have you as new members and hope to see a lot more of you in the months ahead. GREETER & REFRESHMENT LIST
GREETER
REFRESHMENTS JUST FOR LAUGHS Boudreaux That's pronounced BOO-dro, for y'all not familiar with Louisiana. Boudreaux staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Thibodeaux. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Clotile. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his butt. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to yell, Boudreaux sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt was cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed. In the morning, Boudreaux woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt. Clotile staring at him from across the room said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you Boudreaux?' Boudreaux said, 'Mon cher, why you say such a mean ting?' 'Well,' Clotile said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly...... It's all those Band-Aids stuck on the downstairs mirror. The Pretzel A little old man had a cart in Manhattan next to a large office building. He sold pretzels for a quarter apiece. Everyday a man came out of the office building, put a quarter on the counter and walked away. He never took a pretzel. This went on for a couple of years and they never spoke. One day the man came out of the building put a quarter on the counter and started to walk away. The old man stopped him and said, “You’ve been a good customer for a long time and I really appreciate your business, but the pretzels are now thirty-five cents.” Computer Error I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Richard, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over. Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?" He replied, "It was an ID ten T error." I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An, ID ten T error? What's that, in case I need to fix it again?" Richard grinned. "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?" "No," I replied. "Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out." So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T I used to like the little stinker. It's All In How You Look At It… 1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!" 2) OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents." 3) KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle." 4) MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?" 5) POLICE #1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?" 6) POLICE #2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?" 7) ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!" 8) DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning." 9) DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes." 10) SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!" 11) BIBLE A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear." DON'T MISS OUR PICNIC TUESDAY, AUGUST 4TH AT 11:00 AM AT THE AGILENT BALL FIELD BEHIND BLDG A |